PART I
Out of Earth's proverbial piecrust I emerge a bubbling hot apple chunk. I am glazed with anger. I am ready to beat up Perry.
Perry has my goose.
Naked with fists clenched, I somersault furiously into town from the wood. After three hours the wood stops being around and the town starts to be around.
I pinball into the Village Toilet Buffet and demand to see Perry. Smacky Smeed, PhD, and VTB senior manager, shouts, "PURRY BE DEAD" like a pirate and spins with condolences. I shake Smacky until all his butter tokens fall loose from his thong. (At VTB butter tokens award you butter.) He squeaks, "Weep weep weep!!" and expires. I didn't care that he was my son, and I still don't.
I walk up to the next guy who is also my son, but long in one direction and wide in another direction. His name is Gravy McBup and I hate him even more than Smacky. I ask where Perry is, and he points to the corner of the room where a gravestone reads, "Perry Steamcorn = Dead," accompanied by a photo of my goose. I feverishly attempt to dig through the linoleum floor with my fingernails but to no avail. I demand to know who made this headstone, who obtained this picture of my goose, and whether my goose was buried with Perry Steamcorn, the only man who wasn't my son.
A stout woman named Flebby Hoglyn raises her hand sheepishly. She happens to be my daughter and I happen to resent her. I patiently scream at her to answer my demands. She tells me the photo was used as directed in Perry's will, and that he provided the photo. The goose, she tells me, was released into the world by Perry. I kill Flebby and Gravy, but that's okay. More angry and naked than before, I jettison myself from the Buffet into Main Street.
The world has my goose.
I try to locate the world but cannot because too many of my adult children are walking around town asking me for things. I climb to the top of a chapel's penis and cry for my goose to come back. A titmouse gliding by perches on my shoulder and burps in my ear.
End of Part I.
