ACT IV
...
The bathroom. Son Boy is kneeling next to the tub, where his dead father lies and decomposes. The radishes hanging from the shower head are rotten. Son Boy places a sombrero over his Pipsy's lifeless head, as a funeral rite.
Guess I'll be taking my baths at Mr. Linder's house again, eh Pipsy?
DAD
(Dead dad sounds)
Who's knocking at the door?
Sound of door knocking.
Come in.
Enter a Sherpa in mountaineer gear. He is covered in snow.
SHERPA
Are you Son Boy?
I used to be.
SHERPA
I used to be.
The Sherpa blushes. After a moment the actor playing the Sherpa remembers his line.
SHERPA
I...I have something for you, then...?
SON
What is it?
The Sherpa pauses to remember his line.
SHERPA
Shit.
STAGEHAND
"It's a new dad. Issued by the chancellor."
SHERPA
Oh. It's nude dad issues, by chance.
SON
(Pretending the Sherpa did not flub) A new Pipple?
SHERPA
That is...corcorrect.
SON
(Whining like a French boy ) Je ne veux pas d'un nouveau papa!
SHERPA
That's too bad cuz you're gonna get cuz you're gonna get get one...one.
The new dad comes out of the Sherpa. He is fresh, dizzy, and dressed in dungarees.
SHERPA
His naHisname's Mr. Wimmley anananhe's a dad?
MR. WIMBLEDY
Charmed.
Mr. Wimbledy bows to Son Boy.
SON
What do you do?
Mr. Wimbledy, in his curious nimble squat, begins to spin in place.
SON
Wow!
Son Boy giggles and piddles his britches.
SON
Teehee, stop, new daddy.
Mr. Wimbledy stops spinning and gives Son Boy a briefcase full of money.
SON
Wow!
MR. WIMBLEDY
You're my world.
SON
Teehee!
Son Boy blushes and his eyes fill with pulp. The Sherpa dissolves, stage left.
SON
What should we do first, new Pip - new Pepsy?
MR. WIMBLEDY
(Gargles)
SON
Teehee! You're right. I should call you something else.
Son Boy looks around the room and spots his dead dad lodged in a sea of mold.
SON
I know! I can call you...Pipipsy!
Mr. Wimbledy clutches Son Boy's head.
MR. WIMBLEDY
YES! YES, my boy!
Son Boy and Mr. Wimbledy stare at each other for months. They eat Pipsy.
End of Act IV.
(Act V coming soon.)
The Sherpa blushes. After a moment the actor playing the Sherpa remembers his line.
SHERPA
I...I have something for you, then...?
What is it?
The Sherpa pauses to remember his line.
SHERPA
Shit.
STAGEHAND
"It's a new dad. Issued by the chancellor."
SHERPA
Oh. It's nude dad issues, by chance.
(Pretending the Sherpa did not flub) A new Pipple?
SHERPA
That is...corcorrect.
(Whining like a French boy ) Je ne veux pas d'un nouveau papa!
SHERPA
That's too bad cuz you're gonna get cuz you're gonna get get one...one.
The new dad comes out of the Sherpa. He is fresh, dizzy, and dressed in dungarees.
SHERPA
His naHisname's Mr. Wimmley anananhe's a dad?
MR. WIMBLEDY
Charmed.
Mr. Wimbledy bows to Son Boy.
SON
What do you do?
Mr. Wimbledy, in his curious nimble squat, begins to spin in place.
SON
Wow!
Son Boy giggles and piddles his britches.
SON
Teehee, stop, new daddy.
Mr. Wimbledy stops spinning and gives Son Boy a briefcase full of money.
SON
Wow!
MR. WIMBLEDY
You're my world.
SON
Teehee!
Son Boy blushes and his eyes fill with pulp. The Sherpa dissolves, stage left.
SON
What should we do first, new Pip - new Pepsy?
MR. WIMBLEDY
(Gargles)
SON
Teehee! You're right. I should call you something else.
Son Boy looks around the room and spots his dead dad lodged in a sea of mold.
SON
I know! I can call you...Pipipsy!
Mr. Wimbledy clutches Son Boy's head.
MR. WIMBLEDY
YES! YES, my boy!
Son Boy and Mr. Wimbledy stare at each other for months. They eat Pipsy.
End of Act IV.
(Act V coming soon.)
